The Spice Girls question

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵?

My coach Tracy Goss called this the Spice Girls question.

When a leader pauses to ask themselves what they really, really want–it changes the game.

Take care with this question because our brain is conditioned to avoid the answer.

Our brilliant, pattern-recognizing brains like to focus, instead, on:
“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦?”
“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤?”
“𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴?”

I identify as Latina, and when I work with leaders who are part of a historically-excluded or marginalized group, I find that asking what we really, really want might feel particularly perplexing.

Sitting with this question might bring up a range of emotions due to past experiences and/or inherited legacies. There are many of our ancestors for whom this question was not accessible or safe to explore.

Recognizing and speaking about what we want can be an act of liberation.

When I allow myself to fully express what I really, really want, I can feel my body and being clicking into alignment. It's a deep knowing that has always been there, waiting to be heard.

Here are 3 ways to play with asking yourself the Spice Girls question:

1.  𝘼𝙨𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 3 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚𝙨. Insert an extra “really” each time you ask and allow yourself to sound silly. Silliness is an invitation to let down our guard. (What do you really, really want? What do you really, really, really want? What do you really, really, really, really want?)

2. 𝙄𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙨. Ask yourself: “What would you want if constraints were not an issue and resources were unlimited?”

3. 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙯𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩. Ask yourself: “What do you really, really want in 10 years? In your lifetime?”

🎶 𝘚𝘰 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵? 𝘕𝘰𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘐 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭. 🎶

𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲: tell 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 what you want, what you really, really want. You deserve it.

Zigazig ah!