Deconditioning
Over the last several years, I have been a student of my conditioning.
By “conditioning,” I’m referring to the beliefs we hold about the “shoulds” and the “musts” in our lives.
Conditioning comes from many places: our past experiences, our brain’s expert patterning, the systems and pressures that surround us, our upbringing and ancestral lineages–just to name a few.
When we explore 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗲𝘀 of our conditioning, we can 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗱 a long-held belief and discover more choices that surround it.
For example, in my own conditioning, I built an early belief that there was a “right way” to do things. This often causes me to default to seeing my actions as either right or wrong, which, in turn, often sparks a lot of pressure about “getting things right.” When I feel that pressure, it can lead me to hold back, delay action, and agonize about finding the “right thing to do.”
As a leader, I’ve learned to honor that this pursuit of the “right way” has supported me in achieving a certain level of success in my life. I’ve also learned, however, that if I let this belief run the show, it can limit me from reaching new levels.
To address this challenge, I practice 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴.
Just as we can condition and strengthen our 𝘱𝘩𝘺𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘭 bodies, we can condition and strengthen our 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘴 as well. This requires introduction and repetition of new thoughts, that, with practice, can become patterned as new beliefs.
When my mind defaults to asking: “What’s the right thing to do?”... I wrap that question with intentional support to expand the view. For example:
⭐ What’s the right thing to do…𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚?
⭐ What’s the right thing to do…𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬?
⭐ What’s the right thing to do…𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙?
⭐ What 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 I do?
As leaders, our beliefs shape our actions. When we build beliefs that help us feel powerful, we can dramatically accelerate the powerful, aligned actions we can take.
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